Now That YoUr gOne                                                                                                          
how can i start it.. maybe im just in the mood but i cant find any right word to start it.. maybe because no one    understand me that y i just wanna write it down.. let me start my asking u this.... ARE YOU HAPPY?


Someone send me this quote... " Pano mo makikita ang taong namamahal ngaun kung nakatingin ka sa mahal          mo noon... " then i asked her "pano kung nsa puso mo tlga xa and all your memories keep on haunting you khit pinipilit mo naman talagang kalimutan at alisin lahat.. kahit na pinipilit mo isipin lahat ng masasakit na bagay na ngyari sa inyo pero mas nangingibabaw pa din un sakit.. pano kung ndi ka naman tlaga masaya.. pinipilit mo kc un ung kailangan.. un ung dapat pero deep inside unti unti ka ng namamatay..


there are some cases when we broke up sasaring emotions ung andun.. eto ba ung galit ka sa knya kc she/he neglected you and took you for granted.. yung tipong oo commited nga kau pero para biglang nagbago, tpos malalaman mo nlng na meron n palang ibang ngeexist sa mundo nya and ur not a part of it na.. eto ung your building dreams with her/him as if he/she will stay long enough to fullfil those dreams, tpos magugulat k nlng one day ndi na ikaw ung gusto nyang ksama sa mundong gusto nyang galawan...you'll have to end the relationship coz she/ he wanted to be free and be happy with someone else.. masakit kc u expected alot from ur commitment and you expected more to her/him tpos un pala it wont last longer.. IF SHE/HE CAN ONLY STAY A LITTLE LONGER.......


or maybe the reason was pride.... he/she chose to broke your heart because of his/her damn pride kahit alam na alam nyo naman mahal na mahal nyo ang isa't isa pero dahil sa ndi nya kayang sabihin ang SORRY and he/she cant accept the fact na she/ he also has faults why ur both in pain rather than cherishing wonderful moments together.. yung tipong lahat naman gingawa mo to keep the relationship stronger and work out pero still it fails kc one of you is making it hard to work out.. ano gagawin mo eh d maglet go.. kc mas lalo lng masakit pag pinilit db mas lalalim ung pain kc mas madadagdagan ung galit kesa sa love so bago pa mawala ung love and respect mo sa partner mo pipiliin mo nlng mglet ko khit alam mong super saket..
MAYBE YOU COULD BE A LITTLE MORE STRONGER..........




or maybe u are hurting coz u chose to let go kasi un ung dapat at un ung tingin ng marami na dapat mong gawin kc they think you dont deserve to be hurt and to be treated like ur partner treated you.. ung tipong gnwa mo na lahat lahat at binigay mo na lahat lahat pero mas pinili pa rin nya saktan ka and he still chose to break your heart... :( bat gnun db... u almost did everything u just cant be perfect... I JUST CANT BE PERFECT... sabi nga sa movie.. " ang kaya ko lng gawin ay ung mahalin ka ng totoo," pero mas madalas pag ngmamahal k ng totoo mas masakit ung balik sayo khit na wala ka naman gnwang mali... khit na ang tanging mali mo lng eh binigay mo lahat lahat.. tpos kahit na ano pang sakit ung naidulot nya dadating at dadating ung time na mgugulat k nlng andun pa din pala ung feelings,, na namimiss mo lahat ng bagay tungkol sa kanya... na khit alam mong ndi pwede naiisip at naiisip mo pa din kc mahal mo pa din pala..


i actually dont believe in love right now.. ang alam ko lng lahat ng relation ang ending lng nyan kundi lokohan,, hiwalayn lng din and in some part masasaktan at masasaktan ka pa din. so bat ko pa hahayaan magmahal ang puso ko para saan para mdurog lng ulet.. ndi p nga nabubuo babasagin lng ulet..gawin mo man lahat para sa taong mahal mo kung ndi mo mareach ang expectations nya ndi din xa masasatisfied.. at hahanap at hahanap din xa ng ibang taong posibleng mgbigay ng satisfaction na d nya nkita sayo... sabi nga db "makakapili ka ng lugar na uupuan mo pero ndi mo mapipili ang taong uupo sa tabi mo at ndi mo kontrolado kung kelan sila tatayo at aalis sa tabi mo" parang computer shop "kahit ilang beses mo pa yan i extend dadating din ung time na mapapagod ka at dadating ung papalit sayo para magrent.." kso ung mga sitwasyon na un eh d ka naman masasaktan unlike pag binigay mo ang puso mo walang 100% na mgiging masaya ka for a long time.. coz there no such thins as forever.. kaya kung my isang taong magsasabi sa akin na mamahalin nya ako ng buong buo at nding ndi nya ko sasaktan nor papaiyakin well isa lng ang sasabihin ko SINUNGALING XA.... promises are made to be broken and PROMISES FADES AWAY... im in pain and i know someday ill be happy even if i will not learn to love anymore... and promises that my heart will only beats for me... para theres no tears will fall...and no more broken hearts..... sana andun n ko sa stage na un.... haistttttttttt

An Open Letter

                                               

        The Art of Letting Go 
                 Part tWo                    


    as the song says... "watching us fade.. but what can i do but try to make it through the day of one more day without you... i guess im learning the art of letting go..."


letting go.. no one wants to experience this kind of thing special when u are about to let go someone you build ur dreams and world with... it is unfair to let go of something or someone u never really wanna let go... pero ano pa ba ang magagawa mo kung kusa na syang bumitaw sayo.. and the only choice left was u have to accept the fact that he/ she doesnt belongs to you.. painful it is but you have to move on and continue surviving life alone...




haist alam mo yung feeling na of all through the years na ur together are seems to be a lie.. you never thought that while ur building ur world to that someone,  he is building his own world with somebody else.. what hurt most was he easily dump you like there is nothing more left.. on ur side your world collapse and it is really hard for you to survive.. ung tipong nawala na ung lahat kz u consider him/her as ur partner, friend, bestfriend, lover, half, and life.. yung tipong todo effort ka to show how much you loved him/her na khit ilang beses mo na napatunayan kung gano mo xa ka MAHAL pero ndi pa din un sapat.. kulang pa din khit naibigay mo na lahat.. u've done your part pero gusto mo pa din isagad just to let him know you really do love him/her.. tanga db pero un ung nsa puso mo db.. un ung nararamdaman mo...at khit ang nakakainis pa dun kahit gaano kasakit ang mga bgay n ngawa nya sau still d nabawasan pagmamahal mo sa knya.. shit db.. but what should u do if he/she was never yours khit taon pa kau ngsama at FEELING MO na NAGMAHALAN.. ndi n xa sayo at kailangan mo na xa pakawalan.. bago ka pa nya tuluyang masira.. bago ka pa tuluyang madurog at ndi na muli matutong magmahal... 


sO pArA sAyo pO..


d ko nagawang magalit sayo sa kabila ng mga ngawa mo skin.. it was my fault na mahalin ka ng sobra kaya ganito ka sakit ngaun ung nararamdaman ko.. sinubukan ko lahat, ibinigay ko na lahat hanggang sa wala ng matira sakin at sa mga taong ng mamahal sa akin ng totoo.. ndi lng ako ang my ksalanan kung bakit tau ng kaganito.. ndi ko na piniling ipaglaban ka kasi ndi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung nging totoo ang pagmamahal mo skin.. ndi ako lalayo sayo kung hindi mo din aki itinulak lumayo na nagtulak sayo para mapunta sa knya.. masakit lng ngawa mong husgahan ang pagkatao ko sa kabila ng lahat ng ngwa ko para sayo.. minahal kita sobra sobra pa nga sa dapat.. tinanggap kita khit ano ka at kung ano lng ang meron ka.. minhal at tingap ka ng pamilya ko at alam mo yan.. sorry if u think i neglected u, sorry kung nasaktan man kita ng ilang ulit sa mga maliliit na gnwa ko.. sorry sa madaming pagkukulang ko sorry for not being perfect para mahalin mo ako ng totoo.. nging masaya ako sa mga taon na magkasama tau.. sa mga simpleng asaran natin khit taung dalawa lng ang mgkasama  na minsan nauuwi sa pikunan at tampuhan,, sa mga gabi na laging maganda ung paguusap ntin tungkol sa mga plano ntin dapat... sa pagtitiis mo sa topak ko, sa pagtitimpla ng dede ko at pagmeme sakin sa pagtulog, sa masasayang time na mgkasalo tayo sa pagkain.. sa mga memories at experiences na kasama kita.. sa tiwala na binigay mo sakin.. sa pagpapalakas ng loob ko kapag umiiyak ako at ikaw lng ang kakampi ko.. sa lahat lahat... maraming salamat po... sobrang mamimiss ko po toh... mahal na mahal po kita tabachingching ko.... ikaw lng ung taong hahayaan ko na tumawag skin nun,... im letting you go kasi mas alam ko na mgiging masaya ka sa piling ng iba.. isa lng po ang hiling ko bilang kabayaran sa lahat ng sakit n nararamdaman ko... alagaan mo lng ang sarili mo.. ako man ang nging daan mo para mgbagong buhay.. kahit ndi na ako ang ksama mo sa bago mong pangarap mas mgiging masaya ako makita ka n nsa ayos n buhay... mahal na mahal kita at magagawa kong lahat para sayo... sana maging masaya ka na at mkuntento ka na.. sana din maging masaya na din ako tulad mo salamat po dadie ko... last na toh... im letting you go and closing our chapter together... goodbye....thanks po...

letting go...a task,, a painful task...

     tHe aRt oF
     lEtTiNg Go 




it was never easy to let go of something you really treasure.. one song i've heard before said "letting go is not an easy task..." coz it gonna hurts alot.. kaso db gnun naman tlga when it comes to love pag alam mong everything around u seems to be not right and it is already hurting you,, you will come to the point of thinking that you have to let it go.

there are times na my maririnig ka "wag sayang naman you seems to look like your a perfect couple", or "wag sayang naman ung mahabang taon na pinagsamahan nyong dalawa",,   kso ikaw ba naisip mo bakit mo ipagsisiksikan ang sarili mo sa taong nararamdaman mo na ndi na msaya sayo.. na ayaw nya lng mkita kng sobrang nsasaktan pero ang totoo ngtitiis lng xa kasi ndi na xa masaya... that your relationship is not growing and not working out.. pano?

 a unhappy heart that wants to be free can compare to a hand full of sand... hawakan mo man ng maige lalabas at lalabas pa din.. parang ibon paghinigpitan mo ng sobra masasakal at mamamatay... kaya kesa mamatay mas maige na pakawalan nlng ito para mabuhay ng masaya sa piling ng ibang ibon na tulad nya...


case 1: you dont love your partner anymore...
it is better to hurt him/her with the truth than with a lie.. mas ok na makipagbreak ka kz un ung nararamdaman mo db at hindi ka na masaya sa relation nyo kasi posible na hindi ka ng ggrow with your partner  and and dami nyo bagay na pinagaawayan..magkaibang magkaiba ang mga likes nyo and points of view in life kaya lagi kau ngaaway.. mas ok na sabihin mo ayaw mo na ksi na fall out of love ka dahil sa mga incompatibilities nyo kesa sabihin mo na mahal mo parin siya kahit lam mo na sinusuka mo na ang relasyon nyo.. masasaktan xa oo sa umpisa pero in the end it will turn out great kz atleast d mo xa pinaasa na ok ang relasyon nyo db,, 

 case 2: both of you wants to be free....
    for me mas ok itong case na to kz u both know that ur not growing and it is really not working.. the feelings is mutual and uve decides to set each other free.. than misarable together and stay unhappy.. my konting kirot maybe because you both know u've loved each other pero mas magiging ok kung ul explore your life on a seperate way... no burdens in letting go kz you both wanted the space and the freedom..
you dont have to lie kasi you both feel the same way...


case 3: pinaka painful sa lahat...is when you are letting go of someone you still love and you've love with all of your heart and life.. eto ung tipong ikaw na mismo ang sumuko kahit alam mong mahal na mahal mo pa din xa.. ung tipong wala kang magawa kundi ang pakawalan xa kasi ramdam mong HINDI NA SIYA MASAYA... ung kahit nararamdaman mo na wala ka ng halaga sa kanya pero ngppretend ka pa din na ok ang lahat.. maayos din ang lahat kaso nga mahal mo xa..kaso mas madalas kang masaktan kasi unti unti nyang ipinapadama sayo na ayaw na niya at gusto n nyang bumitaw kasi nga hindi ka n nya mahal and ndi na xa masaya sa piling mo...possible reason maybe he/she fall out of l
love.. or maybe he/she finds someone new and he fell in love with that other person.. un lng!! un ang masakit.. and you nid to let him go. yup you nid to let go ndi na nid ipaglaban ung feelings nyo at ung relation nyo kasi kung tlgang mahal ka pa nya ndi mangyayari un..he will never fell for somebody else if he/ she stills love you... mahal ka nga nya db.. so meaning walng space para sa love sa ibang tao.. kasi when you truely love someone you love him/her with all your heart.. it completes you as a person and it completes the empty space in your heart... so bakit mgkakaroon ng chance to fell for somebody else... if you are already complete... its time to let go kapag alam mong everything around you are not falling into places..it is when you are hurting so much.. un tipong wala na natitira sayo kahit konting pride.. its time to let go when you are ready to face all the heartaches that awaits you.. and when that time comes always remember everything will be ok.. there's a better life for you.. and God is always there to guide you.. you just have to be ready for god will might give you the best thing that you deserve..

sAsSyhEaRt: tWo tiMeR

sAsSyhEaRt: tWo tiMeR: " tWo tImEr.... uhhmm naranasan mo na ba mgtwo time or matwo time? cno nga ba ang madalas gu..."

tWo tiMeR

             tWo tImEr.... uhhmm naranasan mo na ba mgtwo time or matwo time? cno nga ba ang madalas gumagwa nito... girls or boys???

             situation 1: you are into a relationship and you are so devoted to you partner as if he/she is your life.. and you'll never survive without him/her... then one day you met one guy/girl that gave you the sense of adrenaline rush...yung tipong you have never experience it with your partner.. yung tipong kinikilig ka smile pa lng nya..sa una ok lng yun kz makclassify ko pa xa as crush or infatuation... pero kung your making your way to meet that person.. eh mejo iba na un,,, tpos when you'll have a chance to flirt with him you'll grab that chance to flirt with him/her with out thinking wat risk you are taking.. sabi nila ok lng mkipagflirt kz normal yun sa isang tao.. my ksabaihan nga tayo db na "NAKAKASAWA NAMAN KUNG PURO ADOBO LNG ULAM MO,"kaya minsan nattemp tayo na tumikim ng ibang putahe... sa boys its normal kz its their nature to flirt around.. ALL MEN ARE POLYGAMOUS.. at khit ano pa ang ibansag ntin mga girls sa knila,, manloloko, two timer, user or whatever wala din naman sense kz normal sa knila na matemp,, manloko at tumikim ng iba... but im not saying na boys na ang madalas mag two time.. let me finish first ok....

                      2nd situation is when you know that the guy/girl that you are wanting belongs to somebody else... madaming ganito eh... yung tipong mas nachachalenge sila to flirt with someone na my partner na.. yung tipong kabet cla..yung tipong pumapayag cla khit second choice lng cla.. mas nkakachallenge kz to ung tipong khit ipinagbabawal cge k lng ng cge... db nga msarap ang bwal.. sa situation na toh pumapasok ang tinatwag nting THRILL.. yung tipong d kau pwede mgsama in public bka some of his/her friends might see you,, or you'll be the topic sa khit san sulok ng baranggay nyo..

     3rd situation is when you are into a relationship and your not flirting with somebody else... san yung situation d2.. it is when you are trying to be honest to your partner but your heart is lying kz iba ung minamahal nito... physically you belong to your partner pero when we are going to talk about love and your heart.. it belongs to somebody else.. maybe the reason is when they have no choice but to try loving somebody else coz the real person they really love belongs to someone na.. eto ung worst ung ur trying to love someone kz super nadepress ka at broken hearted dahil sa ex mo.. this is wat i call REBOUND.... mas mhirap tong situation na to pra sa partner na totoong ngmamahal.. kz they trying to be somebody else just to meet your expectations, ur qualifications na hinahanap mo dahil gnun ung dating x mo sa sobrang minahal mo.. sometimes we expect for that person to do the same thing sa ur ex did to you.. so madalas ndi nting naaappreciate ung mga bagay na gngawa nila stin just to pleased you.. it will hurt even more kz at the end you'll just realize na ndi tlga xa ung mahal mo and at hindi mo xa kayang mahalin na mas hihigit pa sa pagmamahal mo sa leche mong x na niloko ka lng at pinaiyak... 

i once experienced situations 1 and 3..i was in a rebound relationship,,both broken hearted situation and ung mismong ng rebound sa guy... and it hurt more khit ano pa sa dalawa... masakit ung ipagpilitan mong mahalin ka ng taong sobrang minamahal mo pero never ka naman nging laman ng isip at puso nya,.. ung tipong you are existing because of him but for him your invisible.. all the thing around you has a meaning bec of him and for him its nothing,, you are doing eveything just for him and he doest nothing..at khit anong effort and iexert mo ndi nya appreciated kz ur not the girl he loves... sa kabilang banda... pag ikaw naman ung broken.. nagiging selfish ka.. kz you want him to understand you.. khit na ang gulo gulo na ngsituation nyo.. you dont want to loose him pero your not doing anything to let him have one good reason to stay,, you are taking him for granted despite the fact that all he wanted to do is to love you and to ease your pain.. hayss... unfair ka nga nmn tlga noh heart.. whatever situation ur are into unfair ka palagi... mahirap naman din n mkipagflirt around while you belong to someone else... bkit pano kung umabot sa point na magkaroon ng exta feeling ka sa taong ka flirt mo.. magulat ka nlng na one day when you woke up ndi mo na xa maresist khit alam mo or alam nyo na you both belong to someone else.. ang hirap nito when the day comes na u already realize na you already have fallen for that someone.. and day by day your feelings gone deeper.. tpos you'll decide to let go of him kz alam mo nagiging unfair ka na sa partner mo na walang gnwa kundi magpakaloyal sau at mahalin ka ng todo.. pero everytime na ngttry ka mglet go sobrang hurt ka kz nga napamahal na sau ung tao na un na once nging kalandian mo lng... hayst... all i can say wala naman dapat pagtalunan kung cno ang mas eh.. kz all of us can experience this situations..tao lng tayo eh naaalipin tao ng hearts natin.. nggwa mo mangtwo time kz un ung gustong gawin ng puso mo dahil alam ng puso mo na mgiging masaya ka sa situation na un.. gnun naman tlga at ang puso db,, puro saya lng nmn ang gusto nya ndi nya kayang isipin ung pedeng mgyari na ikakaskit nya,,, kaya nga nsa baba lng xa at nsa taas ang utak kz ndi kaya magisip ng puso ang kaya lng nya...

one good advice nasa sayo un kung itatake mo.. whatever situation you are into.. before mo pakinggan ang utak mo or ang puso mo.. better think and listen kung ano ang tamang ibinubulong ito na makakapagpasaya sau.. dahil sa bandang huli ndi naman importante ang sasabihin ng tao sayo o sa nagawa mo.. ano man ang mangyari sa mging decision mo then let it be... treasure it and learn from it so the next time you'll be on the same situation you will know how to handle it pero pag nsaktan ka ulit with the same situation isa lng ibig sabihin nun... ndi ka natuto... life is to short so enjoy it coz your going to experience the best of life once.....

sAsSyhEaRt: uNtOLD

sAsSyhEaRt: uNtOLD: "' tHe trUly pAinfuLL gOodbYes aRe tHe oNe tHat nEvEr sAid aNd nEvEr expLaiNed...' i really don't get it whe..."

uNtOLD

" tHe trUly pAinfuLL gOodbYes aRe tHe oNe tHat nEvEr sAid aNd nEvEr expLaiNed..."

        i really don't get it when someone falls in love and never had the courage to tell it.. on the second thOught maybe there's a lot of reason why...or maybe it depends on the situation...

        situation 1... uhHh its when you fall in love with your bestfriend..       you have two choices.. to let him/her know or to keep it in silence.. pag nalaman nya are you willing to take the risk and to accept that you might loose your best friend? or keep it in silence tapos your going to love him/her in silence nlng... lots of cases like this... mas pinipili nila na to keep in silence nlng,, less painful kz your always on his/her side.. making him feel your everlasting love...pero db mas mskit toh kz he wants you to listen on his story about the person he/she truly loves,, how he/she takes cares of that person.. how hurt he/she is whenever they had a fight.. and you'll come to the point that you'll wish you are the one whom he is loving... if you let him know nmn na u love him,, possible n mawala xa kz he doesnt have the same feelings you have for him,, or same man after a couple of months ur together and you'll realize your not compatible as lovers.. you'll break up and friendships gone...hirap noh.. la kang kalalagyan...

                                      2nd situation is when you fell for someone who is already committed to someone..or you fell for somebody else while your committed to someone else... tsk tsk tsk...this is where third party comes,,, there are person na they let them selves fall for somebody else khit na alam nilng ndi na pwede.. possible na not intentional ang pagfall mo but when you let your self fall eh nanloloko ka na brod.. coz if you really love your partner you'll never have a space to love someone else.. kso tlgang ngyayari yun db.. life is unfair and so love.. one good advice on this.. whatever your decision is be happy on it and make it memorable.. if it doesnt work out then there's no one to blame even urself.. PANINDIGAN MO.. wag ka manghihinayang na nilet go mo ung taong ngmahal sau ng totoo kz ikaw ung ngdecide na ilet go xa...

                               situation 3...you fall for someone you didn't expect you'll fall...yung tipong nobody lng xa sau before,, you didn't even notice his around.. tpos magugulat ka nlng one day pag gising mo you have this   special feeling for him and you cant explain... at first possible na in denial ka kz nga for you his not existing before so why all of a sudden your world exist because of him.. tpos ndi mo msabi kz your both uncertain to whatever you feel for each other pero your friends.. and sometimes you feel that he/she is treating you more than friends but less than lovers... This is what i call Pseudo Relationship… I have already experience this kind of thing… masaya at first but in the end mas malalim ung tama ng pain… para sa mga weak n tulad ko.. it will make you cry a lot of times than having a real affair with someone.. theres no boundaries on this kind of thing pero and daming limitations.. walang bawal pero madami kang indi pwedeng gawin.. labo db… you fall for someone and maybe somehow he/she falls for you to.. un nga lng walang nanligaw, walang singot, walang monthsarry, walang anniversarry.. in short…. NO COMMITMENTS… you are not directly committed to that person ,, meaning you don’t have any rights to hold on.. d ka pwede mgexpect na anjan xa lagi for you,d ka pwede mgselos ndi ka nya jowa,,ndi ka pwede mgdemand, hindi ka pwedeng manumbat at higit sa lahat ndi pwedeng umikot ang mundo mo sa kanya.. kz there’s NO STRINGS ATTACHED…

                     Hays love nga nmn... Madami pang situations na nangyayari when it comes to love.. pero ako isa lng ang lagi kong cnasabi sa sarili ko when im in whatever situation is.. NOTHING IS PERMANENT in this world.. Maybe he loves me so much now as if im his life...but when time comes and he is uncertain on what he feels for me, even if it will hurt me as painful as i cut my risk.. i let him go coz i don't want to be happy inlove but my partner in life in miserable as if he is in hell... stay happy and make every moment special and memorable.. coz you will never know when he/she will be gone... and how important he/she is to you......